The following feature was written by Eric Byrd of Newfield (Tompkins County), and first posted on his Facebook page. It is published here with Mr. Byrd’s permission.

This morning, Friends, we welcome our guest speaker on Christian fundamentalism, here to talk to us today about the ~$800k in donations to the former owners of the former Memories Pizza shop in Indiana. Please give a warm welcome to… ME! (polite scattered faint smattering of applause)

(thump thump *squeal*) Could we turn that volume down a notch, sound guys? OK, good.

The gal from Memories Pizza made an interesting remark on Fox “News”, about this money, the approx. $800k her family had received in donations from people in support, during the recent infamy that forced the closing of their pizza shop: she said that God had blessed them for standing up for Him, and not denying Him, in the face of the persecution. Are they right? It sure looks, to a person who believes in miracles, as if all that money might be a miraculous rain of blessing upon them.

But as any legitimate fundamentalist should do, I will go to Scripture to find out how God feels about what’s been going on in the gay civil rights debate. After all, I bet the Memories Pizza crew believe that every dot on every “i”, and every cross on every “t” in Scripture is the express eternal infallible word of Almighty God forever and ever, Amen.

There are a lot of passages that are apposite to this situation, but today I will choose only one: Luke 7:36-end.

“36 And one of the Pharisees desired [Jesus] that he would eat with him. And he went into the Pharisee’s house, and sat down to meat.

37 And, behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at meat in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster box of ointment,

38 And stood at his feet behind him weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment.

39 Now when the Pharisee which had bidden him saw it, he spake within himself, saying, This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman this is that toucheth him: for she is a sinner.

40 And Jesus answering said unto him, Simon, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And he saith, Master, say on.

41 There was a certain creditor which had two debtors: the one owed five hundred pence, and the other fifty.

42 And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most?

43 Simon answered and said, I suppose that he, to whom he forgave most. And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged.

44 And he turned to the woman, and said unto Simon, Seest thou this woman? I entered into thine house, thou gavest me no water for my feet: but she hath washed my feet with tears, and wiped them with the hairs of her head.

45 Thou gavest me no kiss: but this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to kiss my feet.

46 My head with oil thou didst not anoint: but this woman hath anointed my feet with ointment.

47 Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.

48 And he said unto her, Thy sins are forgiven.”

Friends, does this passage need explanation or annotation? I don’t think so.

Judgment Day is coming. And we’ll see if this $800,000 was a “blessing from God”, or just the outpouring of bigots defending other bigots. (steps off soapbox to THUNDEROUS applause)